Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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