I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
