So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
