I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
