This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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