He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Houston, we have a squirter
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
