in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
