Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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