I wish my penis had an off switch
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize