At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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