just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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