I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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