Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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