he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
