a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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