I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
