well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
