i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So many bounce houses so little time
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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