It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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