The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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