i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
