How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Everyone says I win the strip club
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
