It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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