And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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