I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I accidentally had phone sex last night
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
