did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
