Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
We are all done wearing pants today
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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