I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
