He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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