Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
