So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
