Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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