I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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