We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
