YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
