No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize