i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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