how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
