I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
