Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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