I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
ttyl tear gas
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Randomize
