Joe is yelling at the trees again.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
