soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
