Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
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