Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
