If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
