never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
