babies were throwing up all over the place
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
