big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize