Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
