Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize