There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
