I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
