I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
