He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
