You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
