week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
