Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
there's paper in my vomit.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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