He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize