I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
