i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
