The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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