This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
