I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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