Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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